Every woman has her own list of goals that she wants to achieve in this lifetime. For the more specific (and maybe goal-oriented) of us women, we also set a timetable. I would like to believe that every woman has, at some point in her life, written these dreams down on a sheet of paper or in somewhere she lovingly calls her ‘goals notebook’. Now, how many of those dreams have you actually accomplished in the many years that passed?
I had my own notebooks for these sets of dreams (and still have) that I randomly came upon in the past weeks. Evaluating the words written on those notebooks against what I have actually achieved in real life brought me to conclude that really, all our dreams are valid. There are some in those pages that I have already achieved, some that I have not and some that I have achieved but surprisingly a little later than I have imagined. If I hadn’t been a bearer of one or two (or more) of these ideas before, I honestly believe I would have so much more ticks on those lists.
1. “I’m not smart/pretty enough.” I honestly think most ladies suffer from this notion and I am certain even right now, there are some of you harboring this ill thought which is really really sad. Most, if not all of us, would of course want to be at our 100% when we go for our life-long dream. All of us would want to be perfect. However, how are you even gonna feel confident about pursuing that dream when you have already judged yourself of not being good enough? Who else would have faith in you? You well know that whatever it is that you think, you radiate. Hence, if the seed of being inadequate is unfortunately the seed that’s blossoming in your heart and mind, then you are definitely doomed. Ever heard of The Law of Attraction from The Secret? The energy that you send to the world is the energy you’re going to receive.
2. “I am used to being in the sidelines so in the sidelines I must stay.” I know some ladies who are used to being in the background because of them being fixated on the high school social hierarchy. They must have forgotten that mostly everyone has moved on from high school and that now everyone’s living in the “real world”. While this is truly happening, I also know some women who had the courage to step out of the shadow of their high school social identity and go after their dreams. I am certain they have never regretted that transition. Just because you weren’t in the editorial staff of your high school paper doesn’t mean that you have no right to pursue your dream of being a writer. Just because you weren’t prom queen doesn’t mean that you don’t have what it takes to be a model. Just because you didn’t make it to the debate team cut doesn’t mean you can’t be a lawyer. Go and defy gravity!
3. “(Name of someone you deem better than you) wasn’t even able to do it. What makes me think I can?” Exactly. What makes you think you can? That’s a question you have to answer. You know yourself better than anyone in this planet. You know your weaknesses (which are most of the time magnified). But also, you know your strengths (which are most of the time overlooked). You know what you are capable of doing and you know what you and you alone can bring to the table. Competition is okay so long as it drives you to be the better, if not the best, version of yourself. A healthy competition isn’t supposed to make you feel less for yourself. So if that person whom you regard so highly of wasn’t able to achieve it then that should propel you to believe YOU CAN – all because you are not the same. You are different! You must never pattern your successes and failures with someone else’s because you have your own life story. And may I remind you that you have the lead role in YOUR life story. You are not a sidekick, for crying out loud.
4. “People are gonna think me proud/boastful/arrogant.” So what? You don’t need anyone’s approval on how you live your life. Again, you know yourself best. It should be enough that you know who you really are – that you are not the kind of person they say or think you are. Whatever you do in this world, there will always be bashers. Even saints were ridiculed. You should know by now that if you carry on living a life seeking everyone’s approval of your actions and decisions, you will never be truly happy as you will never accomplish anything for yourself. You just have to learn to do it Swiftie style, shake it off!
5. Mañana Habit. This perfectly shows how most of us always say that we aren’t ready to do ‘it’ just yet. My favorite line from my favorite TV series, Gossip Girl, was from Blair Waldorf. She said, “Destiny is for losers. It’s just an excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.” It has been my mantra ever since. We have a tendency to delay – either due to fear of coming out and actively going for our dreams or fear of the outcome of our quest. When was it ever the case that the late bird got the worm? Please tell me. You are not getting any younger. If you still think that you have a lot of mañanas to come and you really are gonna go for it mañana, then you’re wasting nobody else’s mañana but yours. #